This is not a fitness blog.
There are no morning affirmations, miracle routines, protein powder endorsements, or inspirational quotes. It’s more of a case study in questionable judgment; documenting what happens when a mostly sedentary, coffee-dependent woman in her forties decides to do something that is equal parts ambitious and absurd.
In my case, that “something” will take place July 3–5, 2026, in Brandnertal, Austria… namely, seventeen ascents of 538 vertical meters (about 1,765 feet) each, over 3.5 kilometers of trail, on slopes ranging from 9 to 35 percent. That’s roughly 59.5 kilometers (about 37 miles) in total (assuming I live to see the finish.)
Thirty-four hours.
Seventeen climbs.
29,029 feet of vertical gain.
One deeply misguided sense of adventure.
Believe it or not, this kind of thing is organized and people sign up for it willingly. It’s called Everesting, and it’s a real thing actual athletes do on purpose: climbing one mountain repeatedly until you’ve gained the height of Mount Everest itself.
I can’t decide if that makes it inspiring or insane, but either way, it felt like the kind of challenge worth not only doing but documenting… partly for accountability, mostly for the comedy of watching me train and attempt it in real time.
A Series of Unfortunate Ascents is a comedy of elevation — an ongoing experiment in optimism — where I document the training, the backsliding, and the small victories that unfold somewhere between self-improvement and self-delusion. It’s part accountablog, part storytelling, and proof that reinvention doesn’t have to be graceful to be worthwhile.
Along the way, you’ll find:
- Training updates that are equal parts data and denial
- Notes on food, mood, and footwear choices I’ll probably regret
- Reflections on what it means to start over (again) when you’re old enough to know better
There will be swearing.
There will almost certainly be chafing.
There will be at least one existential crisis.
Mostly, though, there will be honesty about how it feels to try something ridiculous and meaningful when no one’s asking you to, and about finding a little elevation in every sense of the word.
And, if all goes well, seventeen summits’ worth of questionable decisions.
If you’ve ever found yourself staring down midlife with a mix of curiosity, chaos, and caffeine, welcome.
A Series of Unfortunate Ascents 